


Stay Still

by rockysclouds



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Fluff, French Fries, cute stuff, jean and sasha kiss for the first time, jeansasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29321340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockysclouds/pseuds/rockysclouds
Summary: Sasha took another deep breath, and took Jean’s hand in hers. “I think you’re very talented Jean,” she rubbed her thumb over his calloused, red knuckles. “And I think… I’d like to kiss you, if you’d like to as well.”__Sasha takes Jean to her secret hiding spot and offers him some of her food after a long day. The two form a bond they didn't think they would.
Relationships: Sasha Blouse/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	Stay Still

The summer sun was brutal. Training squad 104 knew this best, as they flew through the air using ODM gear, and trained in combat techniques in full uniform. Of course, the heat and the stench were awful, but worst of all were waiting for his turn in the shower. Somehow he never found luck and always landed somewhere in the middle of the line, and the waiting time for a shower almost felt as long as his longest training days.

Tension often rose with the temperature, the glare of the sun and buzz of nearby cicadas put all on edge. The bigger personalities always ended up to be culprits, either inciting fights, egging them on, or getting berated and pummeled by their fellow comrades. Eren had proven a nuisance to Jean, full of empty bravery and an impossible belief in himself. 

And as the days went on, Jean had grown accustomed to the sour petty rivalries that boys seemed to have, and at times it was easy to ignore their taunts - but on days like today he felt it necessary to defend himself.

“Eren’s full of shit, Jean could take him no problem.” Connie stated as they trained outside.

Beside him, Reiner snickered, “Jean’s a fucking pussy.”

And that was all it took to send Jean’s fist flying towards Reiner’s jaw, sending shooting pain up his arm. Of course, Reiner fought back, both boys full of rage and the need to _win_. They continued fighting for only a few minutes before Captain Levi kicked both of them in the stomach. 

“Reiner, you’re helping kitchen staff tonight. Jean, you’re on cleanup.” Levi instructed in a monotone voice. “Make yourselves useful, for once.”

And that led Jean where he stood now, in front of a sink full of dirty dishes, his skin raw and chapped from scrubbing. It had taken him hours to collect all the dirty dishes from around the dining hall and scrub them thoroughly clean, and then another hour to redo all the dishes that Levi had found unfit to be eaten off of. 

He tediously and meticulously polished plates, cutlery, and cups. The food scraps were collected into a bin that would be fed to the farm animals, and he thought of the farm animals his family owned. He thought about his mother, and his little siblings, and his hometown friends. He wondered what his mother cooked for their dinner that night. Jean smiled to himself, remembering how delicious Mama’s cooking was, and how often he’d sit in the kitchen just to smell the duck roasting in the oven. He’d missed his family badly, and his heart ached as he wondered if they were even still alive.

Jean paused for a moment, leaning on the edge of the wooden counter as he took in the silence of the room. He was alone there, would he be alone forever? Even with his newfound family, the chance of losing someone (or many someones) was high.  
He shook his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. He would deal with that situation once it presented itself.

Jean glanced around the kitchen, it looked clean enough to him, so he decided it was time to call it a night. After a long day of training and cleaning, he reeked of sweat and grey water - but perhaps a perk of an extra long day was the extra empty shower hall. The hot water wouldn’t run out, and he could even whistle if he wanted to.

As he stepped out of the dining hall, the cool crisp night air welcomed him. The buzz of cicadas was replaced by the chirping of crickets, and he whistled all the way to the showers.

The water was scalding hot, soothing his sore muscles. It was so rare that Jean got to enjoy a relaxing shower, he let himself draw out the process. He washed his hair first, working the shampoo into his scalp and massaging it. He scrubbed behind his ears, and along his neck, and worked a lather over his whole body. Maybe hurting his fist and cleaning the kitchen was worth it for a few minutes to himself like this, maybe he’d strike up another fight with Reiner again. _Maybe_ , he chuckled and thought to himself, _I could ask someone to pretend-brawl with me and we could get in trouble, and I could have another shower_. 

After thirty minutes, as the water became cooler, Jean decided he’d gotten as clean and relaxed as possible. He shut off the tap, dried himself off, and quickly got dressed.

Again, the crisp air filled his lungs, and he began walking towards the boys’ barracks, but a familiar voice called out for him.

“Jean!”

He turned his head, and there was Sasha, jogging towards him with a smile on her face and one hand waving at him in the air.

Jean grinned back, “Did you wait outside until I was done taking a shower? Little creepy, don’t you think?”v 

Her smile widened, her eyes crinkling, “Maybe it’s creepy, but I have something to show you… I - I felt kinda bad back there, I thought maybe I could cheer you up a bit.”

The boy’s stomach sank, now filled with nerves. Sasha felt bad for him? That was kind of cute, in a way. “Sure,” he agreed nonchalantly, “What do you have for me?”

“Follow me, you’ll see!” Sasha began to walk, and Jean had no choice but to follow suit.

*** 

The short walk was mostly quiet, little ramblings here and there about training, and Jean’s punishment, and how silly Levi looked being so small yet serious.

“This is a blind spot, the people on look-out can’t see over here.”

They ended up behind some trees, and Sasha sat down to lean against a trunk. She patted the spot beside her, prompting Jean to sit with her. As he knelt down, he caught a whiff of something he hadn’t before. As he opened his mouth to ask, Sasha reached inside her jacket pocket and pulled out a small loaf of bread and some meat wrapped in butcher paper and twine.

“This is from my secret stash,” She said as she tore the loaf of bread in two. As she handed it to Jean, her other hand stuck out a pinky. “Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

He accepted the bread with a grin, and looped his pinky with hers. “Of course. Thanks for this, Sash… All that work built up an appetite.”

“I suspected as such.” Sasha laid down the parcel of meat, carefully untying the twine and using a small knife to cut it into bite size pieces. “This is pig. It’s way more accessible than goat or cow, so they don’t go crazy when it goes missing.”

“Mmm,” Jean hummed. He took a bite of the almost stale bread, followed by a bite of the salted preserved meat. They ate together in silence, enjoying each other’s company after a long day. 

When the food was all gone, Sasha pulled her legs to her chest resting her apple cheek on her knee. “Can I… Can I say something?”

Jean nodded, albeit a bit nervous.

“You shouldn’t let them get to you.” Sasha met Jean’s eyes, and spoke in an earnest tone. “I know they question your capabilities, and your size, and all that, but… I know you’re strong, and so do you.” She suddenly looked away, fiddling with the grass beneath them. “You’re more than capable, and at the end of the day we’re here for the same reasons. All that matters is that you give your all, who cares if the other guys make fun of you? They’re only doing that so they feel tougher.”

Jean sat silently for a moment, he had to admit that after getting into arguments and fights, he often felt silly, often felt embarrassed walking by the same boys who he let get under his skin. Jean ran his fingers through his hair as he watched Sasha’s twirl in the green grass. “Thank you, sometimes I just feel like an oaf. Are the girls like that?”

Sasha shook her head no, “Sometimes they can be catty, but it’s nothing too bad. And they’re the closest I’ve got to my girl friends back home, so I try to keep civil.” She adjusted her body, laying down on the ground with her hands under her head. “Of course, I’ve got Connie here, but I still miss them. We used to sit on the roof and look up at the moon on clear nights like this, so sometimes I look at the moon on my own, just in case they’re doing the same thing… Wherever they are.”

Jean understood exactly what she was feeling, he figured everyone in the training corps was. They all had people they loved, and sacrifices they made. He placed a hand on her knee, “I get it, it’s really hard not knowing what they’re up to. I was just thinking about what my family had eaten for dinner today.”

“It’s Tuesday, right?”

Jean nodded.

Sasha rolled onto her side, “Every Monday my Connie’s family brings us a share of the fish they catch to my parents’ house, and on Tuesday they come over for fish stew dinner. My dad always joked about me and Connie getting married and starting a fishing business together.” She shook her head and snorted, “As if Connie could even cast a line.”

The corner of Jean’s lips lifted into a sly smile, “ _Conmie,_ huh? Married and out on a boat, catching lake fish.” 

She shoved his knee in a jocose manner, “Shut up, we’re not like that.”

“I know, I know, I’m just teasing.”

“But we’ve kissed a few times.” She lay flat on her back again, looking at the stars. “Just to try it, and see if everyone was right about a spark between us.”

Jean tilted his head curiously, “Was there a spark?”

Sasha grinned with her eyes shut, “Felt kinda nice, but we both decided that we don’t have that kind of relationship. We’re more like family, like twins.”

Jean let out a breath of relief that he didn’t know he was holding in. He couldn’t admit it to her, but he was jealous of the fact that she’d gotten to share such a lovely feeling with someone else, and they didn’t even enjoy it. Maybe, if Jean and Sasha kissed… 

He shook his head, trying to rid those thoughts from his head. He didn’t want to think perversely of his friend as she sat right next to him. Jean was grateful for the dark of the night that his the rosy hue of his cheeks, as they sat together in awkward silence.

“Have you ever kissed anyone?”

The question caught Jean off guard, he turned to look at her and opened his mouth for a brief moment as if to say something, tempted to lie, and instead sighing and shaking his head. “Not since I was younger, a long time ago.” He shrugged and looked down at the ground in embarrassment, his turn to pull out the grass now. “I gave up on that when we started training, people around here are different, not just gossip and sneaking around to makeout.”

Sasha sat up to kneel, her hands on her knees as she bit her lip. Jean could tell that something was up. “We’re sneaking around, aren’t we?” Her deep brown eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and she was blushing red as well.

“We are.” Jean said cautiously, trying to examine Sasha’s face. _What’s she planning?_ His stomach sank with anticipation, but he didn’t want to scare her off or seem too eager.

Sasha took another deep breath, and took Jean’s hand in hers. “I think you’re very talented Jean,” she rubbed her thumb over his calloused, red knuckles. “And I think… I’d like to kiss you, if you’d like to as well.”

Jean sat in shock for a moment, processing what had just been asked of him. He took in Sasha’s image, soft long brown hair, bangs that framed her face, and eyes that reminded him of the stars in the sky. He always knew she was cute, but in that moment she was beautiful. Before he knew what he was doing, he inched himself closer to his comrade. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered to her, “stay still.”

Jean squeezed Sasha’s hand tighter in his, and the other came up to carefully hold her cheek. “Stay still,” he repeated again. His lower belly stirred as he (painfully) slowly inched himself towards Sasha, whose hand felt clammy against his. 

Finally, their lips met gently. He felt Sasha sigh against him, bracing her weight on his thigh. She felt so soft, like a pillowy cloud, and Jean could swear he heard Sasha’s heart beating just as loud as his. He pulled away for a moment, and looked down at her. She was still so beautiful. She pressed her forehead against his. “Kiss me again.” she pleaded, her voice so quiet that Jean almost didn’t hear her. “Kiss me again.”

Jean cradled her face in both hands as their lips met once more. The two of them sat together in the quiet moonlight, kissing each other gently. He kissed her again, and again, and again.

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written anything in a while, so bear with me and let me know what you think! i hopefully plan on writing more :)


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